There are a growing number of books and videos—some for purchase, some free—to help parents prepare their children to respond to those who would hurt them. Here are just two of the many resources now available.

I Said No! A Kid-to-kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private (Boulden Publishing, 2016) by Kimberly King and Zack King. The publisher writes:

Using a simple, direct, decidedly non-icky approach that doesn't dumb down the issues involved, as well as an easy-to-use system to help kids rehearse and remember appropriate responses to help keep them safe, “I Said No!” covers a variety of topics, including: what’s appropriate and with whom; how to deal with inappropriate behavior, bribes and threats; when and where to go for help, and what to do if the people you are turning to for help don't listen; and dealing with feelings of guilt and shame.

God Made All of Me: A Book to Help Children Protect Their Bodies (New Growth Press, 2015) by Justin Holcomb and Lindsey Holcomb.

The publisher writes:

“God Made All of Me” starts from the fundamental truth that God created everything and applies that truth to kids and their bodies. It equips parents to talk with both boys and girls about their bodies and to help them understand the difference between the appropriate and inappropriate touch of others. “God Made All of Me” allows families to build a first line of defense against sexual abuse in the safety of their own homes.

The authors write:

Parents need tools to help talk with their kids about their bodies and to help them understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touch. The book allows families to build a first line of defense against sexual abuse in the safety of their own homes. We wrote it as a tool so they can explain to their children that God made their bodies. Because private parts are private, there can be lots of questions, curiosity, or shame regarding them. For their protection, children need to know about private parts and understand that God made their body and made it special.

The U. S. Department of Justice National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW) advises parents to talk with their children about sexual abuse:

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD

Discussions about sexuality and sexual abuse can start long before a child reaches puberty. The sooner a parent initiates conversations about healthy sexual development, how the body changes and sexual abuse, the better. Here some tips on starting the conversation.

• Names for body parts: Properly naming and talking openly about body parts helps children gain respect for their bodies and the bodies of others. These conversations help children to not be ashamed or embarrassed by their bodies and prevent secrecy and silence. Teaching children names of body parts also gives them language to ask questions or talk to you about any worries and concerns.
• Model healthy boundaries: Teaching your child that it’s OK to say “no” to being touched and to respect when someone tells them “no” lets them set and respect healthy boundaries. If it’s helpful, talk with other adults about boundaries and ask them to respect if a child says “no” to a hug or other physical affection. This sends a consistent message about respecting each other’s boundaries. And be sure to respect a child’s boundaries in play and in affection.
• Be sure talks are ongoing: There’s no need to put everything into one big “talk” about sex. Talking openly about developing bodies, boundaries and sexuality can be part of ongoing everyday conversations.
• Be involved in your child’s life: Being engaged in your child’s activities, asking about what she or he is doing, getting to know parents of your child’s friends and knowing the other adults your child might talk to helps you stay connected and involved.
• Talk about media and technology: As technology use increases, it’s an ever-growing part of children and teens’ lives. Asking questions about technology you don’t understand, talking about what your child is doing and supervising access — especially during the younger years — will help you monitor what your child sees and hears. Like teaching children to cross the street, it takes time to teach them how to be online safely.

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR TEEN

As a child becomes a teenager, conversations about preventing sexual abuse can become more complicated. Teenagers will begin to look for relationships outside the family for friends, security and advice. They also may be confused or embarrassed about their own developing sexuality, which makes talking to parents or guardians more difficult. As teens go through these stages of exploration, they are also more at risk, so answering questions and being approachable is one way to help keep teens safe.

• Be realistic and educate yourself: When teens seek information about sex, their “friend” sources may not be reliable. Parents can try talking with their teens, and letting them know they are available. If a teen is resistant to talking, parents can ask if there is someone else they would feel comfortable with and/or find books or videos with age-appropriate information.
• Don’t put off conversations: Parents can find small ways to let their teens know they’re available to talk. Even if the teen does not want to talk, you are letting them know you are approachable.
• Explain consent: It’s important for teens to know they have the right to give or refuse consent, regardless of their relationship status. They can say “no” at any time. And it’s just as important that they respect the rights of others to say “yes,” or “no.” Get to know the laws on consent in your state, tribe or territory.

The Canadian Red Cross offers extensive training and information on child abuse, which it defines as “any form of physical, emotional and/or sexual mistreatment or lack of care that causes injury or emotional damage to a child or youth. The misuse of power and/or a breach of trust are part of all types of child abuse.”

The Protect His Sheep website was specifically created to address child sexual abuse. The Red Cross defines sexual abuse as follows:

Sexual abuse is when a younger or less powerful person is used by an older or more powerful child, youth or adult for sexual gratification. Sexual abuse can be contact or non-contact.

Contact

• Touched in sexual areas (mouth, breasts, buttocks, anus, and genital area)
• Forced to touch another’s sexual areas
• Held in a sexual way
• Anally or vaginally penetrated

Non-contact

• Shown sexual videos
• Being flashed/exposed to sexual body parts, in person or through technology
• Forced to listen to sexual talk
• Forced to pose for seductive photos
• Forced to look at sexual body parts of another person

The most common perpetrator of sexual abuse is someone the child or youth knows and trusts.

The best way to help kids avoid sexual abuse is to empower them with the knowledge to recognize the signs of abuse and to get help for themselves or a friend in need.

Children and youth who have experienced sexual abuse may show some behavioral and social changes, such as different eating or sleeping habits, no longer enjoying activities they used to like, becoming more restless and agitated than usual, or becoming more withdrawn than usual.

Victims of sexual abuse often hide their feelings, blame themselves, keep it secret, and rationalize the abuse by telling themselves it was not that bad or it won’t happen again. Some seek attention through aggressive or self-destructive sexual behavior, while others withdraw or try to escape by using drugs or running away. Some victims attempt or commit suicide.